SEXY GIFTS TO GET YOU LAID
Advice + The Hottest Products
Most people only tolerate the idea of Christmas shopping. Fewer enjoy the actual act of gift buying, and only a small percentage consider themselves cool, calm, collected, AND successful gift-givers. I don’t care what anyone says: receiving an extraordinary gift serves as an aphrodisiac in a relationship. Christmas morning can abruptly escalate from unwrapping presents to unwrapping a condom – an intense, capitalism-fueled passion. Regardless of your moral vendetta against the fashion industry, you can support Bernie Sanders and still appreciate the excitement of receiving an item that doesn’t require a desperate rescue mission for the receipt.
Gifting is not vain; it’s the human spirit of the holidays, an expression of love. It shouldn’t be financially measured, so I’m advising you not to overspend during the holidays. I’m helping you make better choices. To quote Youtube’s Sassy Gay Friend: “Look at your life, look at your choices.”
This gift guide suggests five of the Sexpert’s favorites. No sponsored picks, don’t worry, you won’t find a weight loss tea that will give you the Christmas shits. There’s a gift to fit every budget with the firm conviction that style is timeless and often sensual in dating, well, with an expertly curated assortment. So browse for the one you love or for yourself, and don’t forget to write a card. If you think letters are romantic, try sexting the old-fashioned way.
Some of the brands even exclusively shared to PROVOKR what ‘sexy’ means to them.
Rare Romance:
Women live their lives waiting for an expensive piece of jewelry that could be lost on the honeymoon. A costly ring becomes a potential casualty on margarita night. That’s why I love the Rare Romance unisex line, specifically, their Micro Spike Cuff Bracelet and Ring. Each creation is made with love and consideration for our generation’s bold style. 100% recyclable and sustainable, anyone? Most importantly, these statement pieces fit most budgets and are made to last, but if you’re like me, you could still lose it on vacation without the traumatizing financial guilt.
“We believe everyone deserves to feel sexy embracing their own style, so Rare Romance believes ‘sexy’ means universal, which is why all our pieces are made with creativity, quality, and accessibility in mind.” – Rare Romance
Negris Lebrum:
Making waves in the fashion industry, Negris Lebrum embraces its African roots, emphasizing that it comes from the culture of style. After a year of wearing too many black hoodies, I decided on charcoal grey. Wear this gift of comfort with your lucky underwear, and you’re ready for another hard day of work at the remote office.
“Sexy is the ability to be loud and be heard without saying a word. Anyone can be sexy, it’s all about whether or not they want to be and fashion is a tool that can help. When someone knows who they are and want to show themselves off to the world, that’s sexy.” – Travis Hamilton, founder and creative director of Negris LeBrum
Park Accessories:
The North Bay computer bag is elegant and for the stylish men or women who take charge of your life. Park Accessories are expensive at first glance but undeniably worth every penny. Made of waterproof Italian coated canvas and vachetta leather trim, the signature plaid padded computer sleeve and detachable shoulder strap will look cool forever. Whether on the way to your virtual meeting, office, or Starbucks, this bad boy will ensure you arrive in style. In an era of designers vomiting fleeting fast-fashion online, Park Accessories are the ones you take home to Mom.
“Sexy is someone that knows how to own their space and also let others do the same. It’s about being confident in themselves no matter where they are while also giving respect to anyone else in the room. In other words, sexy is about having class.” – PARK Accessories
Remo Tulliani
One of the beautiful, unexpected liberties the pandemic bestowed upon us was the ability to leave the house incognito. Put on your most stylish face mask, and don’t forget your Italian, handcrafted Remo Tulliani Courage Sunglasses. My personal favorite is the color black and guaranteed to turn heads, even in anonymity. Going rogue doesn’t mean invisible.
TENGA Keith Haring Collab
Give your loved one (and yourself) the gift of better sex this holiday season by investing in research, adult toys, and experimentation. Pure Romance offers it and provides a variety of toys for singles or couples. If you or your relationship want to embrace art, this TENGA collaboration with the Keith Haring estate makes me wonder whether art imitates sex or vice versa. It is ideal for the man you know won’t appreciate fashion but will embrace it if it helps him get off.
For Sexpert questions or advice, contact jamievalentino@provokr.com.
